Hiatus Over - Syawal 2023
Due to the fasting month, that became a long and unintended hiatus since the last post, but I am back to chronicle our parenthood with the joy of our life, Daniel Irfan.
So in this post, it is all about this year’s Hari Raya and how it felt so great to have one without any Covid-19 restrictions. It came to a point that conspiracists had their field day spreading rumors in the past three years about how the SG govt was intentionally imposing restriction on Hari Raya and not other festivities to prevent a super-spreader event, but I digress …
This year, Daniel truly enjoyed himself, and it seems that as he grows older, he's able to appreciate these occasions even more. He was eagerly looking forward to wearing his baju kurung, and what made it even more special was how much he loves the fact that we wore matching outfits as a family.
Over the past month, I've struggled to come to terms with the shifting "Hari Raya norms." Several factors contributed to this change, such as the passing of my paternal grandmother (nenek), the hiatus in Hari Raya celebrations due to Covid-19, and the fact that most of my cousins are starting their own families.
In the past, when nenek was around, there was never any doubt about where we would gather on the second evening of Hari Raya. It was always Bukit Panjang, where she resided with my aunt. Those gatherings formed the core of my childhood memories with my cousins, and nenek was the center of gravity for our family. Late-night firecracker sessions, nenek's sambal goreng, taking photos, enduring humid and sweaty nights cramped in a room for PlayStation sessions, and the soundtrack of loud Malay dramas in the background—all these memories kept us close-knit over the years and gave a deeper meaning to the festive celebration.
However, when she passed away, a void was left behind, and we wondered who would step up to fill her role as the gravitational force for our family. I assumed it would be my dad, the eldest son, but then the pandemic hit. The result was an awkward transition that left us with more questions than answers. Alongside this uneasiness, the cherished memories stopped being replicated each year. To make matters worse, my parents' health has deteriorated during the pandemic.
At first, my sister's words angered me. She said, "Times have changed. Our cousins are all married with kids now. They would prefer to gather at their parents' place instead of Dad's." But as I pondered her words for a while, they echoed in my mind, gradually revealing a different perspective.
All these events made me realize that my focus should now be on Daniel, my nephews, and nieces. My turn has passed, and it's time for the next generation to create their own experiences of what Hari Raya should feel like. I feel responsible for showing them the way.
With this new post-pandemic chapter, my hope is to recreate the same cherished experiences and memories, or perhaps even create better ones, for Daniel and all his cousins. These shared experiences will serve as an anchor, always bringing them back together as they grow up, just as it did for me.
Family is all that matters at the end of the day.
Daniel saves a huge space in his heart for his cousins.
Open houses felt normal again, and we gathered everyone in a chaotic yet joyful manner, just the way it was meant to be. This time, we celebrated in CCK instead of Bukit Panjang, breaking away from our usual routine. It gave us some free time in the morning to engage in art and craft activities with Daniel. The evening was filled with excitement as we indulged in the prominent feature of my childhood—firecrackers. Although we still need to warm Daniel up to the idea of being close to "fire." Maybe next time!
Alright, so that is it for this round. I hope we will all get the chance to create more wonderful memories together next year!
