Nurturing Curiosity: A Lesson from My Son, Daniel
It's been over a month, and life has been quite hectic lately. Nevertheless, I have something important to share with you, Daniel, that I hope you'll appreciate reading someday.
On 24 November, 2023, mama and I had the opportunity to meet with your teachers, Cheryl and Cynthia, during the Parents-Teachers Conference at your school. They had plenty of positive things to say about you, but there was one particular piece of feedback that got me thinking.
"Daniel tends to get distracted easily, not in classes, but when doing routine tasks such as packing his stuff and moving them to another place. For instance, he might pause and watch his friends playing, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do."
Initially, my reaction was that I've always known you to be an incredibly curious boy. Your curiosity often leads you to observe people and things happening around you for extended periods, to the point where it may cause you to forget your initial tasks.
While this feedback lingered in my mind, I didn't dwell on it too much. However, the next day, when I was supposed to take you out to play with your balancing bike after breakfast, I found myself scolding you a few times for "not looking straight and always being distracted." At one point, there was a group of people doing a workout to zumba music, and you kept watching them as you pushed your bike forward.
Within just 10 minutes of our playtime, you stopped and said you felt sad, and you wanted mama. It hit me immediately that you felt sad because I was constantly urging you to focus and keep your bike straight, out of parental concern. I couldn't help but feel guilty about my reaction. So, I said, "Alright, let's turn back and find mama at NTUC."
On our way back, we passed by the same group of people, and once again, you were captivated by their activities, paying little attention to where you were going. This time, though, I paused and asked if you'd like to stop for a while and observe them a bit longer. You nodded enthusiastically.
It was at that moment that I realized how wrong it was to dismiss your tendency to be distracted as something negative. It was simply your way of expressing your curiosity and your desire to engage in prolonged observations of whatever piqued your interest. I learned that you shouldn't be scolded for this; in fact, you should be encouraged to explore your curiosity, no matter how much time it takes. Reminding you of your original tasks became secondary in light of this newfound understanding.
Once again, this experience taught me an unexpected parenting lesson about understanding our children and the world they inhabit. It made me realize that when we stop trying to force them to conform to our world, we can truly begin to see the world through their eyes.
I want you to know, Daniel, that I love you deeply.
With all my love,
Papa
